Murphy's Law for Quilters
by Judy Grow
- On any given day the number of employees in a quilt shop is inversely proportional to the number of customers needing quick attention.
- Every quilt will take twice as long as you expect and be ½ as beautiful (we are never satisfied).
- There are only 2 kinds of masking tape: that which won't stay on and that which won't come off.
- In cutting an intricate multi-piece block, your ruler will slip on the last side of the last patch.
- When there is no time to do something right, there will always be time to do it over.
- The value of any piece of fabric is directly proportional to the speed and ease with which you will ruin it.
- In any mail-order shipment the item you need the most will be back-ordered.
- The pattern in a special fabric will never repeat when or where you want it to.
- Accidental destruction of a fabric will only occur to an expensive imported cotton, never to muslin bought at 50% off.
- Fabric dyes will never run until the quilt has been completed.
- A block with flawlessly straight sides, precision corners and perfect color placement will always be the wrong size.
- A quilt that has to be completed for a birthday in two months will take two years to finish. And its corollary: A quilt that has no due date will take only two months to complete..
- When you finally have your sewing space in the empty bedroom exactly the way you want it your son will move back home.
- You will find the perfect fabric for your quilt only after it has been discontinued by the manufacturer.
- A quilt judge will give you a bad critique only when the area is full of other people..
- That same quilt judge will give praise only when no one else is around.
- The busier you are on any given day the greater the number of quilting inspirations you will want to try.
- Your quilting thread will break at the needle only when the last stitch has been taken in the line .
- If a novice quilter decides to watch you use your rotary cutter, you will always ruin the fabric and cut yourself.
- Your bobbin thread will only run out in the middle of a long line of stitching.
- That perfect striped fabric you want to use in your sashing has been printed off-grain.
- The top must be completed and basted to the backing before you notice the one block that has a mistake in it.
- The quilt-marking pencil that you tested on every fabric before you marked your quilt top won't disappear after you have completed the quilt.
- You finally get a great idea for your Guild's challenge one week before the quilts are due.
- No matter how much fabric you have bought, you are not going to have enough for the quilt you want to make.
Did you know there was a real Murphy? Capt. Edward A. Murphy, an engineer working on Air Force Project MX981 found a transducer wired wrong and commented about the technician who installed it, "If there is any way to do it wrong, he'll find it." The contractor's project manager kept a list of "laws" and added this one, which he called Murphy's Law.
Have another law to add? Send it me, and I will add it here.
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