Happy Thanksgiving!

Jokes, Puns and Cartoons for Quilters

Just to make you smile.

Why don’t side dishes tell jokes? They’re too corny.
What do you say to the winner of the corn shucking contest? Corn-gratulations.
Why did the cornbread get in trouble? It wouldn’t stop loafing around.
Why should you never tell secrets in a cornfield? Because the corn has ears.
Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing.
What do you call a sad cranberry? A blueberry.

What did the Pilgrim wear to dinner? A har-vest.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
What did pilgrims use to bake cookies? May-flour!
Why didn’t the pilgrim want to make the bread? It’s a crummy job.
Why do Pilgrims’ pants always fall down? Because they wear their buckles on their hats!

How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie? 3.14.
What do you call gossiping with a turkey at the table? A side dish.
What did the mashed potatoes say to the sweet potatoes? I yam what I yam!
What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies.
Why are Thanksgiving bread jokes always funny? Because they never get mold.
I’m so grateful for my butter-half.
More rolls? You butter believe it!
Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
What vegetables would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner? Beets me!
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner? The casse-role.
What do you tell your jokester cousin on Thanksgiving? You’re on a casse-roll!
Will I eat leftovers for a week? I cran, and I will.
What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving? Vegetarians.

Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert?
Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Why didn’t the turkey want dessert?
He was stuffed!
What did one pumpkin pie say to the other?
“You wanna piece of me?”
What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler!
Fruit comes from a fruit tree, so where does turkey come from?
A poul-tree.
What’s the difference between a turkey and a chicken?
Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
He wanted people to think he was a chicken.

What does grandma say when you burn the holiday meal?
Oh, good gravy!
How did you find grandma’s turkey this year?
I just looked next to the gravy.
How did the salt and pepper welcome all the guests?
By saying, “Seasoning’s greetings!”
Did you hear about the turkey prom?
It was a Butterball.
What do you call a turkey that’s been in the sun for too long?
A roasted turkey.
What’s the best way to keep a turkey in suspense?
You’ll find out at Thanksgiving dinner!
When is turkey soup bad for your health?
When you’re the turkey!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside!
Why do turkeys hate the kitchen on Thanksgiving?
It smells fowl.
What’s the best song to play while cooking a turkey?
All About That Baste.
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
Wing wing wing!
Why do turkeys gobble?
Because they never learned table manners.
What’s a popular Thanksgiving dance?
The turkey trot.
Why do turkeys only star in R-rated movies?
Because they use fowl language!

What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
Why did the turkey play the drums in his band?
Because he already had drumsticks!
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey, because he’s already stuffed!
Why was the turkey arrested?
The police suspected fowl play.
Why shouldn’t you sit next to a turkey at dinner?
Because he will gobble it up!
What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
Why did the turkey play the drums in his band?
Because he already had drumsticks!
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey, because he’s already stuffed!
Why was the turkey arrested?
The police suspected fowl play.
Why shouldn’t you sit next to a turkey at dinner?
Because he will gobble it up!
What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!

What did the leftover turkey say? “Make me a sandwich!”
What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky!
You think Thanksgiving dinner is done? You ain’t seen stuffing yet.
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.

Have another corny joke you think we should list? Send it me, and I will add it here.